What We Become
by JustSaraNoH
Summary: When the Avengers travel to Asgard for Jane and Thor's wedding, Natasha is forced to confront an enemy from her past and a new possibility for her future. Part of the Nadiaverse series started by Wishes and Nightmares.
1. Chapter 1

**NOTES: **Welcome to another multi-chapter fic in the Nadiaverse! Reading Wishes and Nightmares before this probably isn't a bad idea, but is not mandatory.

This story will be updated bi-weekly on alternating Sundays from new chapters from 180 Days and Counting.

The only characters in here that are mine are Nadia and Sitwell's family. Don't sue, please.

Immense thanks as always to **the_wordbutler** for being my support new work and sating my inner comment whore.

* * *

Natasha picked herself up from the pavement with a groan. She waved off Steve's question of concern and fell back into her battle stance. Everything ached. Her lungs were on fire, she was continuously sweeping blood out of her left eye, and her head was already buzzing with a migraine.

"Seriously," Clint's voice spoke in her ear. "These drones can go fu—"

"Keep the comm clear," Steve snapped before coughing.

"Seconded," Tony's voice called. "The drone thing, not Cap's order."

Natasha shook her head, more to center her focus than as a reaction to the banter. Steve had attracted the two drones that were coming for her into attacking him instead, but he'd already been going hand-to-hand with three at the time. She tried to take a deep breath, but it instantly became a deep pain and shallow inhale. Pushing aside the burning ache and the fact that her body was refusing to breathe, she focused on the fact that her husband was surrounded by one of their greatest enemies, and she was the only one close enough and on the ground to help.

Powering through her weakness, she took down one and then another. It seemed the only way this round of test drones could be stopped was by taking off their heads. Natasha was more than happy to cause some decapitations today.

The robots were a foe the Avengers had fought on occasion for the last three-and-a-half years. Some weapons manufacturers in a distant corner of the galaxy had decided the members of the Initiative were the most valiant foes the universe could offer and made a habit of testing their new products on the team once every few months. The Avengers had yet to find a way to stop them, and it pissed everyone off.

Twenty minutes later, they'd disabled enough of the drones that their producers recalled them through portals to go back home and be retooled. Natasha watched the indigo tubes of light disappear back into the sky, and promptly passed out.

When she woke, she was in the med center and Steve was standing over her. She tried to tell him that she was fine, but all that came out was a cough that wracked her entire body.

"Quit pulling your damn mask off," he grumbled as he readjusted the oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. It took her a second to realize how hoarse his voice sounded, and she looked up at him questioningly. "This round," Steve explained, "could fly. When they took off they left behind a toxic vapor. It's why you couldn't breathe." She raised her hand off the bed to point at him. "I'm still coughing, but I'm okay."

Natasha could see the fear in his eyes—one of his past and the asthma that had plagued him. She wished she'd been able to stay conscious to comfort him, but she could read the monitors hanging above her bed just enough to know that her oxygen levels were not great. She wasn't really sure how she'd managed to stay conscious during the fight since she remembered the burning in lungs started almost immediately.

A slightly woozy Bruce entered her room and immediately went for her chart. His tired eyes flickered back and forth between the notes written in her file and the current readings on the monitors. "Few more hours," he said. "Then I think we can let you rest at home after that, but you're not leaving your bed once you get there. Stay off your feet for as long as you can."

"I'll make sure of it," Steve promised.

Natasha ignored his traditional overprotectiveness to catch a glimpse at the clock. It was a little before six in the evening. The drones had appeared around one, two hours before everyone was supposed to leave for Asgard. It also meant she'd spent about four hours unconscious.

Again, she tried to talk and ask a question. And again, only coughs came out of her, causing both Bruce and Steve to stare her down. "You're the only one who was seriously hurt," Steve answered, and she was grateful that they knew each other well enough that he could anticipate what she was going to ask. "Thor and Tony were able to fly out of it, Clint was up high, and it didn't affect the Big Guy. By the time Phil figured out what the gas was, it was already too late."

The door to her room opened once more, and this time it was Thor who entered. "She has awoken," he greeted. Natasha gave him a barely-there finger wave and a small nod to Jane Foster, who was right behind him. "You should know by now," he said as he leaned in toward her, "that you frighten us greatly when you end up in a bed like this."

She gave a small shrug before mouthing the word sorry, finally learning the trick that talking wasn't the greatest of ideas right now.

Thor waved her off with one of his large hands. "We will leave for Asgard when you have recovered. Everyone will understand that the wedding festivities were postponed because of battle. Midgard is one of the nine realms, and I am charged with protecting it as much as I am with marrying my betrothed to one day inherit my father's throne."

"It's cool," Jane agreed. "I mean, not that you're hurt or anything, I'm just happy to postpone going for a few hours." Thor looked back at her with an exasperated expression. Jane raised her hands in front of her. "You know I love you and I'm thrilled to marry you, but we've had about nine hundred discussions about how I don't want to deal with all this pomp and circumstance." Thor sighed heavily, and Jane took one of his hands in hers. "C'mon, let's go have conversation number nine-hundred-and-one about this."

Natasha turned to Steve and showed him a fist with her index and middle fingers over her thumb—the finger spelling for n. "She's with Darcy and Clint," Steve answered. "I made them both swear to feed her an actual dinner." Natasha knew Clint had a habit of falling back on carnie food when he was stressed, and she did not want her three-year-old daughter's supper to consist solely of a funnel cake.

Bruce closed her file with a smack of the metal cover over the pages. "Rest," he ordered. "No one will release you tonight if you don't, and since we're probably not leaving till tomorrow, I know you'd want to spend one more night at home with Nadia before we all go."

Steve let out a low whistle. "Playing dirty, Doctor."

Bruce shrugged. "Just keying in on the proper motivation for my patient," he explained before leaving the room.

Steve pulled up a chair so he could sit at her side. If he hadn't done that yet, it meant he'd been too preoccupied to sit and be still. Natasha felt the need to apologize to the medical staff in charge of her care.

His fingers fanned into her curls. "Go back to sleep. Everyone's safe. Tony's already working up a post-game analysis. Phil's doing paperwork. You just saw Thor and Bruce. Clint's fine, and he's got Nadia. Rest."

It didn't take much convincing to follow his order. She felt incredibly weak, and like Bruce said, she wanted to be able to spend as much time with her daughter as she could before leaving for Asgard.

* * *

Three hours later, Natasha's lungs had cleared up enough that the medical staff was willing to let her rest at home. Steve got her settled into bed; she'd have to spend the night sitting up if she didn't want to cough non-stop. Natasha noticed how he was trying to play off a few coughs of his own, even if he swore he was fine.

There was a ten minute debate on the merits of collecting Nadia from Clint and Phil's. Clint had texted an hour ago that the girl fell asleep on his lap while watching Sesame Street. Natasha could easily picture her best friend calling on his sniper skills to stay completely still so as not to disturb his sleeping niece, and she was sure he'd be willing to do so all night long if asked because on the list of who loved Nadia most, Clint only trailed behind the girl's parents.

In the end, Steve went to go get her. It took the whole time he was gone for Natasha to strip down to a tank top and underwear. She tried not to think about what would've happened to her and Steve today if they didn't have enhanced bodies. She also tried not to think about what would happen the next time the drones came to visit. She wasn't really successful at doing either.

Thankfully, she soon had a distraction as Steve came into the room with Nadia against his chest. She wore the backup pair of pajamas stashed at Clint and Phil's, cotton t-shirt and shorts that were covered with blue flowers. Gently, Steve positioned Nadia to sleep between the two of them. It wasn't something they let their daughter do very often. Both of them were prone to nightmares and while it'd been a few years since Steve smashed a headboard in two from a night terror, they didn't want to take any chances. Under their bed was a pillow and sleeping bag that Nadia could make use of if she felt the need to sleep in the same room as her parents. Being her mother's clone, she was already stealthy at a young age and there was a time or two when Steve or Natasha would wake up to find their daughter asleep on the floor next to the bed without hearing her come in. Usually Nadia was only able to pull this off when her parents were exhausted from a fight, but Steve'd already voiced fears about her sneaking out when she was sixteen.

As soon as Nadia hit the mattress, she moved to monkey cling around Natasha's left leg in her sleep. Natasha lightly ran fingers through her daughter's red curls so she wouldn't wake her. Steve changed into a too-tight t-shirt and a pair of sleep pants and settled his broad frame on the bed as gently as possible. He propped his pillows behind his back so he could sit up in bed next to Natasha, but she shook her head.

"Lay down," she whispered. "One of us deserves a good night's sleep." Reluctantly, he did so. He turned on his side so that Nadia was between his chest and Natasha's leg, one hand resting on the girl's left arm. She twitched in her sleep at the contact, but didn't wake.

Natasha knew that she, too, should get some rest. It wouldn't take much effort for her to drop back into sleep as quickly as Steve had, but the following day brought a trip to Asgard for Thor and Jane's wedding. They would be gone for a week, and both Steve and Natasha had agreed early on that they wouldn't take Nadia with them. While Thor swore up and down that his brother was locked away and had no magic to use, Natasha didn't trust the situation. There was still a small voice that worried her daughter would disappear one morning, just like the magic spell that created her and vanished from Natasha's body around the time of Nadia's birth. It was just too dangerous in her mind.

But for tonight, everyone was safe. The three of them survived another day, and for the next eight hours, they would be wrapped around each other. Natasha clung to the comfort of that as she finally allowed herself to go back to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**NOTES: **Thanks, as always, to **the_wordbutler** for aiding my words.

* * *

"Oh, hi, Mama."

Natasha stirred at her daughter's greeting and at Nadia sitting up in the bed. She took a breath to say something back, but all that came out was a cough. Thankfully, this one didn't burn through her entire body, but it was still uncomfortable. She swallowed and tried again. "Morning, baby. You sleep okay?"

The girl smiled and nodded at first as she pushed curls out of her face, but once she realized her surroundings, her face fell. "Oh no."

"What's wrong, Bug?" Steve asked, his eyes still shut and face half-buried in his pillow.

"I missed it," the girl pouted.

"Missed what?" Natasha responded.

"I got to sleep in your bed and I missed it," she answered with a sad and pouty bottom lip.

"Nadia, you were here the whole night," Steve reassured. "I promise." When his words did nothing to reassure the girl, he sighed. "Tell you what, when Mama and I get back from Uncle Thor's wedding, you can spend the night in our bed again, okay?"

"Okay," the girl agreed while sticking out a tiny finger. Steve smiled as he completed the ritual of the sacred pinky promise. As soon as they shook on the deal, Nadia bolted out of the bed.

"Where are you going?" Natasha asked.

Nadia stopped on the spot, turned back to her parents, and pulled down on the front of her sleep shirt. "I have to piss," she answered, hissing the last two letters like a snake.

"You are not allowed to say that word," Steve admonished in his Cap tone of voice.

Nadia's eyes went wide, and she froze. "Sorry," she apologized meekly before bouncing around again. "But I really have to go."

"Use our bathroom," Natasha directed with a wave of her hand, and Nadia quickly ran away, her feet slapping at the tile floor.

Steve groaned as he sat up. "You think it's even worth going after Tony for teaching her that?"

"What makes you so sure it was him?"

"It was him or Clint, and I've seen Clint nearly bite his own tongue clean off censoring his language around her." Natasha tried to chuckle at the truth of the comment, but could only cough instead. Steve's hand rubbed up and down her spine and she sensed him waiting to ask for the millionth time if she was alright, but Nadia interrupted him.

"Daddy, help me!"

He sighed. "One day she'll be big enough to use the bathroom all by herself, right?"

"Supposedly," Natasha answered. "And you'll hate every second of it." He didn't bother acknowledging the truth as he got out of bed to help their daughter.

With the room to herself, Natasha let her head fall back against the wall above the bed. She went through a quick evaluation of her body—a few bruises still fading, no sore muscles, and the only source of pain was her lungs. She tried to condition her body to treat it like a rib injury: only take shallow breaths.

"Doctor Banner is at the door," JARVIS announced.

"Let him in," Natasha answered. She briefly considered trying to quickly pull on some pants, but after over four years together as a team, they'd all seen each other in next to nothing enough that Bruce seeing her in her underwear wouldn't be a big deal. "Back here," she announced loud enough for her voice to carry, which of course sent her into a coughing fit.

Bruce shot her a disapproving look as he entered the bedroom. "Not sure I like the sound of that."

Natasha waved off his concern. "I'll be fine," she answered hoarsely as she grabbed a bottle of water from her nightstand. Bruce rolled his eyes as he sat down on the bed next to her.

"Uncle Bruce!" Nadia shouted as she flew out of the bathroom.

"Get back here and wash your hands, please," Steve admonished.

Bruce nodded in agreement. "You can't help me with my patient," he said as he jerked his head in Natasha's direction, "unless you wash your hands."

"With soap," Steve added.

Quickly, Nadia darted back into the bathroom and clamored for her father to hold her up to the sink. Once her hands were clean, she bolted for her bedroom. She returned a few seconds later with the play doctor's bag Bruce had given her for her third birthday two weeks ago smacking against the front of her legs. She tossed the bag onto the bed before climbing up herself. Opening the black bag, which matched Bruce's, she looked expectantly at her uncle for instructions. "Get out your stethoscope," he said gently as he pulled out his own from his bag. Unlike Bruce's, Nadia's was brightly colored and made mostly of plastic. Bruce showed her how to put it in her ears and told her to put the instrument's chestpiece next to his so they could listen to the same thing.

Natasha obediently took deep breaths, as much as she could, when asked and sat patiently as Bruce guided Nadia through the exam. When they were finished, Bruce sat back and pulled his stethoscope from his ears, and Nadia followed suit. "Well?" he asked his young student. "What do you think?" Nadia's only answer was to give an exaggerated shrug. Bruce smiled and turned his attention back to his patient. "Well, I think as long as you take it easy today and tomorrow, I don't see a need to postpone our trip to Asgard any longer."

"I'm sure Thor will be happy to hear that," Steve said. "Thanks for checking her out."

"No problem," Bruce said as he gathered his things. As he stood, he turned to Nadia. "Do I get a hug goodbye since I won't see you for a week?"

The girl's face whipped toward Natasha. "I don't want you to go," she said quietly, fear evident in her eyes.

Natasha moved to wrap her arm around her daughter's tiny shoulders, and Nadia quickly snuggled up against her side. "We talked about this. You get to go play at Mister Jasper's, and then your daddy and I and all your uncles and Aunt Pepper will be back before you know it."

"I still don't want you to go," Nadia pouted quietly into Natasha's side. And Natasha found it hard to disagree with her.

"You still better hug your Uncle Bruce," Steve warned. "You know what happens to him when he gets his feelings hurt."

"He Hulks," Nadia answered. No one was quite sure who explained Bruce's transformations to her like that, but there was no telling her otherwise once the story was established in her mind. Reluctantly, she peeled away from her mother's side, climbed on top of Natasha's legs, and went into Bruce's arms for a hug. When she pulled away, she kissed him on the cheek before settling back against Natasha's hip.

Bruce gave her a soft smile before turning to Steve. "I'll tell Thor that we should all be ready to leave by three. And then I'll go help Pepper keep Tony to that schedule."

"Good luck with that," Natasha replied.

Bruce nodded. "And if you start to feel worse…"

"I know who to call. Thanks for checking me out."

Steve motioned that he'd follow Bruce to the door, but the doctor waved him off. "You don't need to walk me out. I'll see you guys later."

Once he was gone, Steve looked down at the pair of them. "Breakfast? What are we thinking?"

"Not eggs," Nadia groused.

"Daddy needs eggs after yesterday," Steve answered. "But that doesn't mean you have to eat them."

"Pancakes?" the girl tried.

"No," Natasha answered. "Jasper won't be thrilled if we drop you off hyped up on syrup."

"Cereal?" Nadia asked.

"With a banana," Steve added.

"Okay," she sighed.

"You want to help me cook?" he asked. Nadia shook her head no, and burrowed further against Natasha. "Okay," he said, a flash of concern crossing his face. "I'll yell when breakfast is ready."

When he was gone, Natasha began to run fingers through her daughter's hair. "What's wrong?"

"I want to go with you."

"You can't, baby. It's too dangerous."

Nadia pulled away to scowl at her mother. "I'm not a baby."

"I know," Natasha sighed. "But you're the only baby I'll ever have, which means you'll always be my baby, even when you're a big girl." Nadia didn't seem entirely pleased with that answer, but didn't argue the point anymore. They idly chatted about Nadia's upcoming days in preschool, what adventures she'd have with Jasper's three daughters, and Natasha played along for one final doctor's exam before Steve called Nadia out to the common area.

Steve entered the bedroom a few minutes later, a plate in each hand. "Breakfast in bed?"

"Don't leave her out there by herself."

He rolled his eyes at her. "Darcy showed up, I'm giving them some alone time."

At that Natasha accepted a plate from him and cut into her share of the giant omelet he'd made. "I thought she wasn't going to have some big drawn out goodbye."

Steve shrugged as he settled into bed next to her and dug into his first bite. "I guess she saw it as some sort of sign since we got delayed that they were supposed to hang out together. Or at least I think that's what she was trying to tell me."

Natasha snickered. Darcy had made an amazing nanny for the last few years, and she and Steve were sad to see her go, even if there were a few times they'd come to some strange sight like Darcy having an indoor beach party in January or her teaching their then eighteen-month-old how to duckface for selfies. "She crying?"

"Which one?"

"Either," Natasha replied.

"No, but it's probably only a matter of time. Darcy asked me last week if it was weird to have a three-year-old as one of your best friends. I told her I didn't see why that was a problem."

Natasha smiled, but couldn't help but feel a nagging concern that'd been building for weeks. Darcy was leaving to serve as Jane's lady-in-waiting or whatever the Asgardian version of that was. Change was not something the young woman dealt with easily, and even though it mean spending more time with Jane and Thor, Natasha worried about how Darcy would handle the whole thing.

"So," Steve said with a smirk towards Natasha's chest, "should I kiss it till you feel better?"

Natasha looked down at the band-aid Nadia had placed on the swell of her left breast in hopes of healing her cough. "Keep it in your pants, Rogers. We'll be kid-free for a week. You can wait a few more hours."

* * *

By noon, Darcy had given her farewell and the Rogers family was pulling up to the Sitwell residence in Queens. Nadia didn't seem to fazed by Darcy's goodbye; either she was able to recognize the pattern of yes, Uncle Thor goes away from time to time but he always comes back or she was too focused on her parents leaving to think about Darcy.

The drive out to Queens was relatively quiet. Natasha knew that if she hadn't been in the car, Steve would play some toddler-friendly music. But ever since the incident a few months back where they were stuck on the Brooklyn Bridge and Natasha'd heard a few too many EIEIOs, her husband never played music of any kind if she was in the vehicle. Instead, Steve tried to prod the two into conversation. He was more successful with Nadia; they talked about what kind of lunches she'd like to take to preschool, an upcoming baseball game they were going to attend, and called out shapes in the clouds. Natasha mentally ran through everything that'd been packed for Nadia in her little suitcase to make sure she wouldn't need anything. It'd been a struggle to talk her down to only two stuffed toys—Black Widow and Captain America, at Steve's suggestion—but they'd made it work. Natasha'd tried to pack as many flavors of their home—the blanket Nadia came home with as a newborn, her daughter's favorite book, a little photo album with pictures of her parents, uncles, and aunt—as she could without going overboard. "It's only a week," Steve kept reminding her, even if she saw her anxiety mirrored in his eyes.

When they pulled up to the Sitwell residence, Natasha helped Nadia out of the car while Steve unloaded her little suitcase, sleeping bag, pillow, and spare booster seat. Nadia took one look at the strange house in front of them and immediately asked Natasha to pick her up in Russian.

It killed Natasha to shake her head, but she did it anyway. "You need to learn new places with your own feet," she answered. She reached down to take Nadia's hand and gently tugged her forward. "C'mon. Let's go play with your new friends."

Since everyone was going to Asgard, Jasper had volunteered to keep Nadia with his family while Steve and Natasha were gone. His wife, Anne, stayed at home during the day, and they had three daughters ranging in age from ten to fifteen: Izzy, Olivia, and Erin. Natasha knew Jasper would protect her daughter, and it was beneficial for Nadia to stay with girls who were used to having a parent go away for missions and could help the three-year-old cope.

Jasper had the door open before they reached the front stoop. "Hey, Nadia," he greeted.

"Hi, Mister Jasper," she replied quietly.

He waved them inside and called for everyone to meet them in the foyer. At the sound of the three sisters bounding down the stairs, Nadia immediately ducked behind Natasha's legs and clung for dear life. Natasha reached down and nudged Nadia out of hiding so introductions could be made.

Anne knelt down in front of the girl. "We have all your favorite foods, the girls got out all their toys for you to play with, and we found our DVD ofThe Little Mermaid."

Nadia's eyes lit up briefly at the mention of her favorite movie, but worry quickly fell back into place. "I don't like Ursula."

"We can skip those parts," Anne reassured.

"Do you want to see your bed?" the youngest of the Sitwell girls asked. "We're sharing my bunk bed."

Nadia looked up at Natasha with big eyes, not wanting to leave her side. "I'll go with you," Steve offered. "We can unpack your things."

The five of them—Steve, Nadia, and the three Sitwell daughters—trounced up the stairs. Natasha jerked away from the contact on her upper arm, and Jasper took a step back. "I know it's hard the first time you leave a kid behind," he told her, "but it has to happen sometime."

"Yeah," Natasha muttered. "She doesn't have any allergies. McClellan said she'd fill in as physician while Bruce is out of town—"

Jasper waved off her rambling. "Steve already sent a briefing memo. Pretty sure he had Phil help him write it."

Natasha nodded before pointing down to the sky blue sleeping bag. "If she gets scared, she'll want to sleep in your room. You don't have to let her if you don't want to, but she knows the rule is to sleep in her sleeping bag and not try and get into bed with you."

Anne smiled at her. "Smart idea. I spent too many nights with little feet digging into my ribs."

Jasper smirked. "They never did that to me when I was home."

"That's because their nightmares weren't nearly as terrifying as your snoring."

He rolled his eyes, but the humor was lost on Natasha. "Nat," Jasper said in his patented I'm too tired for this shit tone of voice, "she's going to be fine. Yeah, it might be rough the first day or two, but it's going to be okay. I even talked McCoy into bringing her kid over so she could have a playdate with someone her own age."

Natasha bit her lip instead of spilling more words, like how Nadia scared easily and worried too often, the price she paid for knowing exactly how easily superheroes could get hurt. How she was quiet and liked to cuddle in the morning, but on some nights could wear herself out to the point of being a hellion and refusing to sleep. How she mixed up her English with Russian when she got distracted, and how when she felt shy in public she only wanted to sign her words. There was an entire novel Natasha could write about the ins and outs of Nadezhda Romanova Rogers, and the Sitwells didn't even know the first chapter.

But instead, she just nodded. "Mind if I go up?" she asked. The plan was for Steve and Nat to stay a while to make sure Nadia got settled, but that was increasingly sounding like a bad idea. Because if Natasha didn't walk away soon, she wasn't sure she'd be able to.

Anne waved her on and directed her to Izzy's bedroom. Inside, Natasha found Steve sitting on the ground with Nadia in his lap. Next to them, the youngest Sitwell read a story. Steve's eyes met Natasha's and she gave an imperceptible shake of the head. His shoulders sank slightly, but he nodded. "Izzy?" he interrupted. "Would you mind giving us a minute so we can say bye?"

The ten-year-old shrugged and said, "Sure," while Nadia whined a "No."

Steve pulled the girl tightly against his chest as Natasha sat on the floor beside them. "Remember what we talked about?" he asked quietly. Nadia managed to free her hands from his grasp and held up seven fingers. "That's right," Steve said. "We made Uncle Thor promise that we'd only be gone for seven days. So starting tomorrow, you can start counting down the days till we get back."

"But I don't know how," Nadia mourned.

"The girls can help you," Natasha told her. At the reassurance, Nadia pried herself from Steve's hold to launch at Natasha's lap. She hugged her daughter fiercely and whispered how much she'd miss Nadia and an I love you in Russian.

"Me, too," Steve said.

They sat quietly on the floor for a minute until Steve stood and held out a hand to help Natasha up. This time, she did give in to Nadia's wish and carried her in her arms as the three of them went back downstairs. "Thanks again for watching her," Steve said when they were all gathered in the foyer.

"It's our pleasure," Anne replied.

"Give kisses," Steve quietly ordered.

Nadia leaned up to kiss Natasha on the month before practically throwing herself out of her mother's arms at her father. Steve caught her easily and gave her kiss. "You know how much we love you, right?" Nadia threw her arms open and he smiled. "And so much more."

Once their traditional goodbye phrase was spoken, Steve set Nadia down. Natasha didn't miss the strain in his shoulders as he did so, but he put on a brave front. She saw their daughter's eyes start to fill with tears, and suddenly she couldn't breathe. She was awash in memories of being tiny and her parents vanishing suddenly. Natasha wanted to reassure Nadia once more that—barring some all-out sneak attack by an imprisoned Loki—they'd be back, but all that came out was a coughing fit. Steve nudged her to the door and made a quick apology for Natasha's health, the excuse they used to make a quick exit.

Steve drove them around the corner and out of sight of the house before pulling over and putting the car in park. Natasha's coughing had calmed down, but her eyes stung with tears. She could blame it on her lungs, and Steve would let her get away with it, but they would both know it was a lie.

"We can't take her with us," Steve said. "Do you want her anywhere near Loki?"

"No," she sniffled. "Do we really have to go to the wedding?"

"They came to ours," he reasoned with a shrug. "And we said we would." He twisted his grip around the steering wheel so hard that it squeaked. "But if you don't want to—"

"Drive before I change my mind."

By three, the Avengers plus Jane, Darcy, and Pepper managed to successfully gather at the common floor of the Tower without running too late. Thor promised that they'd be seen to while on Asgard and wouldn't need to pack anything. The only exception to the rule was for them to bring their tactical gear since the Avengers were expected to spar with some of the more renowned Asgardian warriors as some sort of pre-wedding celebration.

Together they all moved out to the landing pad that was typically reserved for a Quinjet but that was empty for the moment. They each did one last check to make sure they had everything they needed, and Phil, Thor, and Steve did a final headcount to make sure everyone was present. Thor pulled Jane and Darcy both against his broad chest. Tony gave him a strange look before doing the same to Pepper and then not-so-subtly hooking a couple of fingers into one of Bruce's belt loops. Phil and Clint inched closer together, but made no contact. And Steve lifted his arms from his side slightly in a silent invitation for Natasha to step into his protection if she wanted. She saw his fingers twitch as she did so—a sign that he wished he was holding his shield. She burrowed her face into his chest and felt slightly better when his arms wrapped around her shoulders.

Thor bellowed into the air and a split second later, they were all taken up in a beam of light. Part of Natasha wanted to watch the light show all around them so she could tell Nadia what it was like, but instead, she tried to press herself closer to Steve and silently wished it was over. The trip was fast enough, and a few seconds later they were all coughed up into a round room.

A large man covered in gold armor with an even larger sword nodded at the group. "Welcome to Asgard."


	3. Chapter 3

**NOTES: **Constant thanks to **the_wordbuler** for making me words readable.

* * *

Despite leaving in the middle of the Earth's afternoon, it was just after sunrise on Asgard. Thor led his friends out of the chamber they'd arrived in after introducing them all to Heimdall. Outside, there were five large horses waiting for them. Since they were sizable animals, Thor encouraged them to pair off to ride back to the castle. Tony complained about how riding could possibly impede his plans with Pepper later as he stuffed the suitcase armor into one of the pouches strapped the horse's back. Thor ignored the comment as he pulled Jane up to sit behind him. Clint helped Phil up on a steed before climbing up and plastering himself to Phil's back, causing the handler to roll his eyes. Bruce and Darcy looked at each other and shrugged, but not before Darcy groped herself and let out a mournful sigh.

"What are you doing?" Bruce asked with raised eyebrows, not quite capable of making eye contact with her.

"Preparing myself for all the bouncing," she answered.

Steve took his place on the one remaining animal. Natasha nimbly climbed up after him and pulled herself flush against his back, a position they were accustomed to. At least once a week, weather permitting, they spent an hour or two riding around town on Steve's bike.

Once everyone was ready, Thor took off with a yell and a nudge of his foot to the beast's side. They crossed the distance on a translucent bridge that cast of light of every color; ahead of them was a golden city sparkling in the sunlight. Everything looked straight out of the Disney movies Nadia loved to watch, and Natasha immediately felt yet another pang of missing her daughter.

They entered the city gates and found themselves surrounded by cheering crowds. Thor waved regally to the people, and Tony was happy to follow suit. The rest nodded politely, most of them used to being thrust into publicity situations. Darcy, who somehow managed to smuggle her phone to the alien world, recorded video. Natasha was fairly certain selfies with random Asgardians would be a new past time of Darcy's.

After a twenty-minute parade through the streets, the group arrived at the palace. Attendants rushed up to greet them, some tending to the horses, others introducing themselves as servants to the guests of honor. The pair assigned to Steve and Natasha—named Orvar and Margit—offered to take the bags they had with them, but they preferred to keep hold of their tactical gear themselves. The attendants led Steve and Natasha to where they would be staying during their visit.

It was a bedroom decorated in shades of gold and a deep blue-green. A large bed covered in pillows and silk sheets occupied most of the space. Open doors let in sunshine and offered a balcony with, most assuredly, a stunning view. There was a large closet off to the side and a bathroom next to it.

"Do you require anything?" Margit asked.

"I think we're good," Steve answered with a smile. "Thank you."

She nodded in acknowledgement. "You are requested to change into our traditional garb and join your comrades in an hour for a tour of the palace followed by a banquet."

Instinctively, Steve looked at his watch, but Natasha pointed to a clock on the wall. "Thank you," she said to the servants to dismiss them. Once they closed the door behind them, Natasha looked back of Steve with a raised eyebrow. "Whole hour? What should we do?"

"Bed?" he asked.

She nodded and they both began to strip down to their underwear. The silk sheets were obscenely decadent as they slid between them. They curled up on their sides and Steve wrapped a strong arm around her waist before pulling her back against his chest. "Think you'll be able to wake us up in forty minutes?" he asked.

She meant to answer Probably but once again fell into a coughing fit. This one, at least, didn't burn, but she still swore viciously in Russian at the frustration of it all. Sighing, she wiggled out of Steve's grasp and once more propped herself up with pillows. Steve started to follow suit, but Natasha pushed on his shoulder. "You need sleep. You're probably still exhausted from yesterday and had to share a bed with a three-year-old."

"She only kicked me in the gut twice," Steve argued, but he still slid over to pillow his head on Natasha's thighs. She ran her fingers through his hair and closed her eyes. She waited to hear his breathing even out, but instead his hand start rubbing up and down her leg while he turned his face to kiss her thigh. Grabbing a fistful of hair, she yanked his mouth away from her leg.

"I thought you wanted to sleep."

"We could not sleep," he murmured. "You know most of the others are doing the same thing right now."

Natasha groaned. "I don't want to think about that at all. And besides, if we had sex right now, I'd just cough the entire time. Worth it to you?"

"If I say yes, you're going to kick me, right?"

She tugged his hair again. "Go to sleep. You're no good to me if you pass out during this feast we're having tonight." Within minutes, they were both sound asleep, something that happened often for the both of them—especially Steve—the day after a fight. Enhanced bodies were handy in battle, but required more food and energy, which resulted in a constantly-full refrigerator and a lot of unapologetic napping.

Natasha's internal alarm clock woke her up at the forty minute mark, and she jostled Steve until he was awake. Making their way to the closet, they found the space filled with offerings of tunics, dresses, and even armor. Natasha settled on a dark gray, short-sleeved shirt that hung halfway down her thighs, black leggings and boots, and a leather belt. The armor felt a bit much, so she left it behind. Steve unsurprisingly chose a pair of brown trousers with a navy shirt. He hummed pleasantly when he found the chest plate actually fit him.

"You have seen Asgardians before, right?" Natasha asked. "Should you really be surprised it fit?"

Steve gave a small, sheepish smile. "Never thought I could miss not being the biggest one around, but it might be fun."

They left their room and walked down the hall. There were a series of bedrooms off the corridor that was reserved for the Avengers, as well as a large common area. In the open space, Darcy was excitedly chatting with Phil about her new quarters and its amenities. Natasha saw Clint through an open set of double doors and went to join him on the balcony. He, too, wore a dark gray tunic with black pants and when he saw her outfit, he shook his head. "I had it on first. Go change." She rolled her eyes, but didn't respond otherwise. "You okay?" he asked.

"Getting there," she answered. "Should have clear lungs again by the morning."

"You scared the shit out of all of us, you know."

She smiled at him. "Have to keep you on your toes somehow."

"Next time do it without nearly suffocating." He turned his gaze back out to the open expanse in front of them that looked over the city. "How'd it go dropping off—"

"We're not discussing her here," Natasha warned with a deadly serious tone. Clint gave her an exasperated look, which she ignored. "I don't know which walls have ears. We are not discussing her here."

"Fine," he muttered.

She heard steps approach them from behind and didn't need to turn around to know it was Phil. "Everyone's ready," he announced. "Time to start the tour."

They spent hours wandering around the palace. Thor led them through the corridors and rooms, stating facts and history as they went. Clint and Tony were immediately bored unless the room held weapons or something equally shiny. Natasha knew that Phil, despite his bland facial expression, was mentally logging the information to file a report later. Steve, Bruce, and Pepper chatted about the art and architecture while Natasha listened to everything around her.

As the group walked down one of the large hallways, there was a set of steps to their right with guards lining the staircase. Its destination was shrouded in shadows as the steps curved down and away from the main corridor.

"What's down there?" Bruce asked as he eyed the guards.

Thor momentarily made eye contact with Natasha before answering, "That way lies our most fortified prison cells."

"So where they hold Loki?" Tony questioned.

"Verily," Thor answered.

The group silently stood and stared at the entryway to the prison until Phil cleared his throat. "I personally would be fine with never seeing him again. Thor, where are we going next?"

Almost everyone moved on, but Natasha hung back a second to take in weaknesses and possible exit and entry points. A hand gently wrapped around her wrist, and Steve tugged her forward. She looked at him and opened her mouth to argue, but he gave a barely-there shake of his head. "C'mon," he said.

The tour ended an hour later in, unsurprisingly, a banquet hall. This one was modest compared to a few they'd walked through as a preview to where the wedding would be. But despite the small size, there was enough food to feed a group of superheroes and Asgardians.

Thor let loose a cheerful bellow when he realized the room already had guests: Lady Sif and the Warriors Three. There were backslaps and well wishes exchanged before Thor reacquainted his Asgardian brothers–in-arms with their Midgardian counterparts. They'd all met at one point or another, sometimes in battle. Natasha didn't miss the slight twitch in Phil's eye when he realized they'd all be spending the next few hours together.

Over one of the more delicious meals Natasha'd had, endless tales were exchanged. It seemed everyone was expected to produce a story detailing either an impressive victory or embarrassing defeat. They went around the room, each person sharing a memory. Some were more appreciated than others—the detriment of Jane's miscalculations in a journal piece was lost on a few—while others were so big and bombastic, Natasha was concerned the giant table of food was going to be overturned.

As time passed, Natasha watched Steve eat an impressive amount of food. Each time he reached to refill his plate, he'd flash a sheepish grin her way, and she'd shake her head. But her husband nearly choked on a mouthful when Volstagg started speaking to them.

"How is your daughter doing? I have young ones myself. I cannot imagine what you two went through with the curse—"

He grimaced as soon as the word left his mouth, and Sif tried to hide the fact that she'd kicked him under the table. Natasha felt her blood run cold, and she shot a quick look at Thor, who was hiding his face inside a wine chalice.

"What curse?" Steve asked, his voice low and dangerous.

The only Asgardian who knew how Nadia came to be was her Uncle Thor, or so Natasha had believed. Natasha'd asked him midway through her pregnancy to tell the people of Asgard that she'd miscarried. The last thing she wanted was for Loki to come after the child he'd magicked into existence.

When the Warriors Three and Lady Sif visited a month before Nadia was born, Sif hinted at the fact that she knew Loki was interested in the particular magic spell that could have caused Natasha's pregnancy. That was when Steve decided, completely on his own, that their new cover story would be that he'd gotten Natasha pregnant just before Loki came to attack, making his magic a waste.

Natasha had thought Sif had actually bought the lie, or was at least willing to keep their secret private, but apparently not.

Sif pursed her lips before answering the question. "Captain, it is known how the Lady Widow's daughter came to be."

"You mean my daughter," Steve challenged.

"I fear this is my fault," Thor confessed as he set down the golden cup. "While the Lady Natasha was in the unexplainable sleep after Nadia's birth, I cried out to my mother for help. In my desperation, I admitted that it was our people's magic which had caused the situation, and that therefore, we should be responsible in amending things."

"Who knows?" Clint ground out.

"My family and my close friends," Thor answered. "It is no concern to anyone else."

"It's no concern to your family," Pepper spat back.

Phil, his expression one reserved for serious circumstances, asked, "Is that confirmation that your brother is aware of all of this?"

"Aye," Thor responded, regret evident in his voice.

But Natasha barely heard that. She couldn't hardly listen to anything over the sound of blood rushing in her ears. Her limbs were growing increasingly cold, so she did the one thing she'd spent most of her life doing: she shut down her emotions. Compartmentalization took over and boxed up the feelings that threatened to consume her. She felt Steve's eyes flash her direction, a silent request for her to jump into the conversation and do something about the revelation, but she remained stock still. The longer she went quiet, the more nervous eyes flicked her direction. Not knowing what to say or how to handle finding out that Loki'd known for possibly three years that his magic had worked, she stood and left the banquet hall.

Even in her distracted state, her brain was able to get her back to her room. Numbly, she stripped out of her garments and crawled once more between the sheets. Part of her mind noted that someone had made the bed while they were out, and that same part began to fear how much more of their privacy would be invaded during this week.

Steve burst through the door ten minutes later, his jaw clamped shut in anger. He, too, removed his armor and clothing, but unlike Natasha, he redressed into the clothes he wore when they arrived on the planet that morning. "What are you doing?" he snapped when he realized how little she was wearing while curled up in bed. "We have to go back."

"Why?"

"To protect her."

"From what?" Natasha quietly questioned. "He already knows she exists and how she got here."

Steve sighed and sat on the bed, his back to her. "We have to do something," he grumbled.

"I did do something; I told Thor to leave it alone and tell his brother that I'd lost the baby. You were the one—"

"What? You're just supposed to hide the fact that there's a small child living with you who also happens to look exactly like you?"

"Stacking lies on top of lies only makes things fall and crumble."

"I didn't tell a lie," Steve argued. "I'm her father."

"No, you're not," Natasha answered. She'd feel guilty in the morning for the way she saw his whole body deflated and the hurt laid bare on his face out of the corner of her eye, but her mind could only handle simple truths at the moment, and that was one of them. "You're not her father and he knows it."

Sunlight streamed through the opaque drapes covering the balcony doors, and Natasha watched the sky turn from black to vibrant pink. She should've slept like rock, since for the first time since before the drones attacked she could've slept on her back, but she was wide awake all night long. Steve'd left the room after she'd made her statement and was gone for two hours. When he'd returned, Natasha was still curled up in the same spot in bed. Silently, he'd stripped and crawled between the sheets, positioning himself with his back to her.

Natasha absolutely deserved the silent treatment, and she desperately wished he'd been able to keep up with it, but in his sleep, his body instinctively rolled over and reached out for her. She'd stiffened at the contact, but Steve just unconsciously nuzzled further against her.

When the sun finally rose past the horizon, Steve stirred. Out of habit, he hummed against her skin before kissing her shoulder. But he must've remembered her last words she'd said because he froze when his lips made contact.

"I meant genetically," she whispered. "I hope you know that's all I meant." When he didn't say anything, she faced him for the first time since dinner. "You are far and away the better parent. If it were just me around, she'd become this bitter, messed up person. A true clone of me."

Steve dug his fingers into her hair, and she couldn't resist leaning slightly into the feel of his palm on her cheek. "It's so rare for me to see you absolutely terrified that I forget your instinct is to shove everyone away," he said. "Don't do that to me."

Natasha swallowed and nodded; they, for the most part, remained content in the quiet and comfort of the bed. She settled her head on his chest and focused on the steady, slow rhythm of his heart. Once again, she was reminded of how much she didn't deserve to have him around, but she was so grateful he was. "What do we do?" she asked.

"I don't know," he sighed as he ran a hand over his face. "Running back home probably wasn't the greatest idea," he admitted.

"Word would get back to Loki," Natasha agreed. "He'd know he has us in the palm of his hand if he ever got free to pull something."

"Let's hope that never happens."

"So, then what?" she asked as she sat up next to him. "Just act like nothing happened? Say something at dinner didn't agree with me last night and I had to leave? They'll know it's a lie."

"Do you really think we can't trust Thor's friends?"

Natasha shrugged. "They were willing to keep it a secret. Thor, on the other hand—"

"Thought you were dying and was desperate to keep that from happening. We all were," Steve replied.

Before she could try and find something to say to that, there was a knock. Steve called for whoever it was to enter, and Clint barely cracked open the door. "Please tell me you're wearing clothes."

"Get in here," Natasha answered.

Most people would not have noticed the lines of worry marking Clint's face, but Natasha saw it plain as day. "What's the plan?"

Steve looked up at Natasha and waited for her to make the call. Mentally, she ran through the options available to her. Most seemed simultaneously not enough and overboard considering they were visiting for a wedding. "Nothing," she told them. "Just pretend nothing happened." She watched Steve's eyebrows rise and could feel Clint questioning her without looking over at him. Natasha ignored them both. "I'm getting cleaned up," she announced as she climbed out of the bed.

It took a few minutes to figure out how to get the shower started, but the wait was worth it when Natasha stepped under the spray of three showerheads. She let the water pound away at her muscles in attempt to calm her nerves. Taking deep breaths, she was pleased that her lungs felt almost normal again.

She heard Steve open the door and cold air hit a moment later as he entered the shower. "Clint said they want us to spar in a couple hours. Feel up to it?" he asked as he moved under the spray with her.

"I'm fine with punching some Asgardians in the face today. You?" He nodded his head and she saw his jaw tighten. She reached up and ran her fingernails through his short-cropped hair and his eyes closed at the touch. "We okay?" she asked quietly.

Blue eyes opened to stare at her for a moment, causing her stomach to swim in a mess of emotions. "Clint also said breakfast was almost ready," he said. "Wanna be late?"

The body fell at Natasha feet with a satisfying thud and a grunt, and she had to bite back a smirk. She looked up at Steve and he gave her a proud, little nod.

They were all in tactical gear in the outdoor practice field within the palace walls. Even Phil wore a tactical suit while giving some instruction on breaking out of holds to a ring of men and women in guard uniforms. Clint was showing up a dozen archers, Stark floated overhead to give practice to aerial attacks, Thor was directing the activities, and Steve and Natasha teamed up to spar against half a dozen guards at a time. Bruce was the only one not participating. He stood with Pepper off to the side, the pair watching everything around them. No one wanted to force Bruce to give up himself for some practice, but he did volunteer to do so from time to time. Thor assured him over breakfast that Asgardians had enough practice fighting aliens and the Hulk wouldn't be anything to new them; therefore, it wouldn't be necessary for Bruce to go through a transformation.

They spent hours in the yard sparring. Steve and Natasha paired up to take on those who were brave enough to face the duo. Many others stood around to make notes and observations about how the two warriors could fight so well in sync—and that's exactly what they did. After four years of battling side by side, they moved with unconscious coordination. They ducked, kicked, punched, and rolled around each other without hesitation or thought. The pair fell into a peace that came with relying on each other with the added bonus of their lives not hanging in the balance.

Thor called a stop to the practice and, as was apparently the tradition, everyone was invited to a banquet hall to eat and share stories. Steve and Natasha stayed quiet during this round of swapping tales. In fact, most of the Avengers just politely listened as guard after guard told increasingly hyperbolic legends of their heroic deeds. Tony, of course, contributed a yarn or two, complete with wild gesticulations. Clint talked about some impossible shots he'd made like it was as easy as breathing. And Thor bragged about the valor and merit of each member of the Initiative.

Natasha wanted to feel the pride in her actions that the Asgardians did with regards to their history, but she couldn't. If she took a life, it was either because she was ordered to or because it was necessary for her to survive. She couldn't exactly take pride in her work. Since she joined S.H.I.E.L.D., her skills were used to pay back the debt she owed for the lives she'd ended. With the birth of her daughter, that sense of making good only increased. She didn't want Nadia to ever know her mother as a ruthless assassin, even if it was the truth.

"The two of you are married, are you not?" The question came from across the banquet table and caught both Steve and Natasha off-guard.

Thor nodded and smiled. "Aye," he answered for his friends. "I only hope my impending marriage will be as strong as theirs."

Steve gave a nod at the compliment and rested a hand on Natasha's thigh under the table. She tried to look appreciative, but still held some ire towards the Asgardian prince.

"If I may ask," the man across the table pressed, "how did you woo your bride?"

Natasha wasn't sure Steve was going to answer until the guards' buddies began mocking him for being lonely and single. And if Natasha knew one thing about her husband, it was that he hated seeing someone being bullied.

"In battle," Steve answered.

Tony, sitting nearby, shook his head. "Please, they might as well refer to sparring as foreplay."

The guard ignored their friend's comment, and his eyes lit up as he briefly glanced down the table to where a young woman was listening to one of Clint's stories. Others around him picked up on the motion and once again ragged him for his crush. Steve, however, caught the young man's eyes and threw him an encouraging wink. Natasha fought hard not to snort.

Once the meal broke up with gluttonous promises for a late, private dinner, everyone headed off to their rooms to groan over eating too much. Steve shut the door behind them when they entered their bedroom. Natasha rolled her neck and cringed at the pops and cracks it made from the few times someone had managed to throw her to the ground. She felt strong hands come up to knead her shoulders—a massage she was sure she'd have to reciprocate shortly or deal with puppy dog eyes.

"Lungs okay?" Steve asked. She nodded and hummed when his thumb pressed into a knot. His touch, as well as the sparring session, reminded her how little sleep she'd had in the last couple of days, and the more Steve caressed her shoulders, the more she felt like she was going to start swaying on her feet out of exhaustion. Natasha felt his mouth move towards her neck, but he jerked away when someone began pounding on their door, causing a spike of adrenaline to wake Natasha once more.

"Nat! Steve!" Darcy bellowed while trying to beat down the solid piece of wood.

Steve hurried over and yanked the door open to reveal a flustered and pale Darcy. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Breathlessly she answered, "They're turning Jane into an Asgardian."


	4. Chapter 4

**NOTES:** To celebrate gaining 400 followers on my tumblr (username: saranoh), I'm accepting drabble prompts until 5pm EST today. Details can be found on my blog.

* * *

Natasha and Steve followed Darcy out to the common area of their wing in the Asgardian palace. Thor's mother, Frigga, was there, comforting the assembled guests. "I assure you," she said, "no harm will come to Lady Jane."

Darcy snorted softly beside Natasha. "Yeah, because all the other times Asgardians have decided to fuck with humans' lives, it's always turned out super great."

Despite the jab, Frigga held a polite face. "We are doing this for the benefit of Lady Jane but also for my son. Midgardian lives are but a brief span of time compared to our own. It was hard enough watching my son mope around the palace because his love was on another planet; I will not suffer through him in mourning for centuries. This is our wedding gift to them."

"How long will the process take?" Phil asked.

Frigga shrugged. "I have never been witness to something like this. I assure you," she cut in before the arguments could start, "that it has happened before and there are—" Her voice cut out into gibberish, a rare thing that happened when All Speak couldn't translate something to English. "—who have successfully completed the procedure before."

"And Thor's okay with this?" Darcy asked.

"Yes. He is nervous, but he agreed with the decision, as did Lady Jane. Thor is standing guard with Odin while this takes place. I told them I would stay with you all to reassure you and answer any questions you have."

The last sentence is taken by most of them as a dismissal. A few broke off into their own groups to discuss things, while Bruce and Tony approached the queen. Natasha caught snippets of the conversation regarding concern for Jane's scientific mind to remain intact. She heard enough of a positive answer to not be nervous about things, but couldn't continue listening to the rest of the conversation due to Darcy turning to Steve.

"You've been through something like this before, right? Getting turned into a bigger, better version of yourself?"

Steve gave her a small smile. "I'm a little familiar with the situation, yes."

"Did it hurt?" Darcy asked.

"Yes," he answered honestly. "But it was worth it. I would've been dead before I hit thirty from some cold virus if I hadn't gone through the transformation." He paused to shrug and sneak a glance at Natasha. "It led me to what I wanted out of life. It certainly wasn't the exact path I would've taken personally, but everything turned out okay." He placed a reassuring hand on Darcy's shoulder. "Jane will be fine."

Darcy pursed her lips and turned to Natasha. "What do you think?"

Natasha's gaze flickered back and forth between Darcy's nervous face and Steve silently asking her with his eyes to be calm and comforting. "I think Thor wouldn't let her get hurt." The answer momentarily pacified Darcy, and Steve took advantage of that to draw her into a different topic of conversation as a distraction.

Food was eventually brought in, although no one was really hungry. People nibbled on the fruit and cracker-like things, but stayed away from the flasks of mead at the end of the table. Despite giving off a calm demeanor, everyone in the room was on edge until word came from Thor or they saw Jane themselves before they'd believe that everything was okay. It wasn't everyday one of their friends changed species.

An hour into the wait, Natasha noticed two people were missing: Frigga and Clint. She immediately looked for Phil, who was now in the corner of a room and continuously flicking his eyes toward the balcony doors. She wiggled her fingers in a subtle hand gesture to see if Clint needed backup, but Phil gave a single, sharp shake of his head. Before she could question it, Pepper stepped into her line of sight. The other redhead began to ramble on about the dresses in her closet, the food, and how none of her clothes were going to fit when she got home. Natasha recognized the nervous chatter for what it was. Everyone in the group had anxiety about coming to Asgard; Pepper's was because Loki came to attack the planet and nearly caused Tony to be lost to deep space. She was also still a little pissed about having to do extra construction work on their newly finished Tower.

Natasha watched a guard walk out to the balcony, and a moment later, he returned with Frigga at his side. "The procedure is nearly finished," she announced. "I am going to check on things and will return with news."

Once she was gone, Natasha's thoughts refocused on Clint. She looked to Phil, who gave her a small shrug, before she walked out onto the sunshine-soaked balcony. She bumped her shoulder against Clint's, but he didn't move. They stood in silence for ten minutes before he admitted, "Thor's mom offered to fix my ears."

Her eyebrows rose slightly in surprise. "What did you say?" Natasha asked.

"No," he answered softly.

"Why?"

Clint sighed before speaking. "She wanted to do it as some apology for Loki sticking himself in my head."

"Sounds like a start of an apology to me, but not nearly enough to cover that damage."

"Nat, I'm not mad at Loki," he admitted, finally looking over at her. "Yeah, he's pulled a lot of shit, but I'm not mad at him."

"He killed Phil," Natasha argued. "Twice."

Clint shrugged. "And then he took away all the scars and pain from the attack. Phil's healthier than he's ever been because of that."

"Do you not remember what it was like with him in your head?" Natasha questioned. "Because I can remember what it was like fighting my best friend."

"And I remember what it was like camping out in a waiting room for four days waiting for my best friend to die," he shot back. "But no, I'm still not mad at him, Tasha. I don't think you should be mad at him either; look at what he gave you."

It was habit for Natasha to try and push the fact of how Nadia came to be out of her mind. As more time passed, she was able to hide that piece of information away a little bit better. There were some days she could just fall into the illusion that their little family hadn't been created by magic spells, fear, and a shaky marriage. Natasha still owed a lot of debts, but she didn't want any of them to be in Loki's name.

"He's still a total shithead," Clint continued. "But that's our job. We deal with those idiots all the time. Just so happens that this one gave us all a family."

"We already were a family," Natasha countered.

"You, me, and Phil were, sure. But now there's more of us, and a little girl that I would do absolutely anything for. And that's because of him."

Natasha knew there was logic in his argument, but wasn't in the mood to study it too closely. "What about your ears?"

Clint shrugged. "That's on me. I knew what I was getting into with that. Besides, it's been a couple of years, and I'm used to it. I mean, it would be nice to hear things without the aids, but I knew the risks of the job. Asgardians didn't have anything to do with this; they don't need to go cleaning up my messes."

She wanted to argue, but nothing sounded good in her head. Instead, she just edged closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder. His arm wrapped around her waist and he nuzzled his nose in her hair before quietly admitting, "I think she wants to talk to you, too."

"About what?"

He shrugged slightly. "Some other kind of apology deal."

* * *

The next morning, the ladies found themselves in the palace spa. The men had taken off an hour before dawn for some pre-wedding ritual hunt. Natasha closed her eyes as strong hands dug knots out of her shoulders. To her left, she heard Jane sigh.

"Darcy, quit staring at me. I'm fine."

"You're not fine," her best friend argued. "You're a different species than you were yesterday. That's weird, Jane. I know you're all about doing things for the good of science, but it's weird."

"Do you feel different?" Pepper asked from the bubbling hot tub in the middle of the floor.

"Maybe a little," Jane answered. "My internal organs aren't where they used to be, and I've spontaneously gained a couple hundred pounds due to tissue density. But honestly, I feel fine."

Natasha didn't note any major changes in physical appearance. Jane didn't grow any taller, maybe her hair was a littler shinier and her skin seemed to glow a bit, but nothing extraordinary seemed to have taken place. Which was probably why Darcy was having trouble accepting that everything was okay.

"Feeling and being are two different things," Darcy muttered.

"I think we should get married more often," Pepper announced from the hot tub before taking another sip from her glass. Natasha wondered if she was going to have to haul a thoroughly drunk Pepper back to her room before the pampering was over. Maybe if she asked nicely one of the Asgardians would do it. "This is nice," the CEO continued. "We did it for Natasha's wedding, we're doing it for Jane's. We should get married more often."

Natasha pried open one eye to stare at her friend. "You do realize you're the most likely to walk down the aisle next, don't you?"

Pepper scrunched her face for a second. "I think other people should get married more often," she amended.

"Is that because you don't want to walk down the aisle?" Darcy asked. "Or because you're not sure you'd rather marry the guy you definitely share a bed with or the other guy you seem to also share a bed with?"

Pepper face flushed red. "It's not like that," she muttered.

"Please don't explain," Natasha groaned. "I'm trying to relax, not have scarring mental images run through my head."

"Speak for yourself," Darcy countered. "Sounds pretty relaxing to me."

"It's… it's not like..." Pepper sighed as she tried to string together the right words to describe the relationship everyone knew was happening but didn't care to question.

"You really don't have to explain," Jane interrupted. "They same happy, you seem happy, who cares?"

"I do," Darcy exclaimed. "Because her answer decides whether or not I get a nice chunk of change from a betting pool." She must have felt the other women in the room turn to glare at her, because she quickly amended her statement with, "I meant fictional betting pool. A more than likely non-existent betting pool."

"Leave her alone," Jane warned.

"Fine," Darcy sighed. "Let's talk instead about since you're all Asgardianified now, you and Thor can have a ton of babies."

Jane's gulp was audible. "Let's not and say we did."

* * *

Once everyone was massaged and manicured, they went their separate ways. Jane and Darcy left to meet with Frigga to finalize some last-minute things regarding the ceremony. Pepper went back to her room to take a rare nap, and Natasha found herself restless. Going for a run or doing some calisthenics was an option, but she didn't feel like sweating after spending the morning being pampered.

The men still had yet to return from their hunting expedition, so Natasha decided on a walk through the palace. She took the time to admire the art that they were quickly rushed past on their first day. She studied the architecture and brushed fingers along the walls to see if the building material felt alien to her, but the cool stone felt like something from home. She tried to give the appearance of aimlessly wandering the halls, but—whether she was willing to admit it or not—she knew exactly where her feet were leading her.

It was really only a matter of time until Natasha drifted down into the prison below the palace. Thor at least must've known it, too, because none of the royal guards denied her access. She told herself that she wanted to inspect the security of the prisoner herself, but even she knew that wasn't entirely true.

With each step that she moved down toward the pit of cells nestled under the palace, Natasha's stomach twisted. She could hear Steve warning her in her mind to turn around and leave things alone, but she ignored it. She needed to face Loki head on; maybe then nightmares of Nadia vanishing would stop.

Natasha came around the corner to see him lounging on some couch—much nicer amenities than she would have afforded him—tossing a cup repeatedly into the air. He froze for a second when he sensed her presence, and then sat up slowly with a smirk creeping along his face.

"Quim," he greeted.

"Monster."

His face puckered at that word. "Ooo," he breathed. "Is that any way to greet the one who gave you what you always wanted? Love. And a family."

"I already had a family."

"But you admit to not having love?" he asked rhetorically as he rose from the couch and began to pace laps around his bright white cell.

Natasha remained rooted in place, forcing her body to stay as still as possible, but her chin couldn't help but rise slightly at that challenge. "I already told you, love is for children."

"Is that why you're here then? Come to see my mother about how to have another of your own? She's the one who taught me that particular bit of magic, by the way. Need another squalling, helpless creature to entirely depend on you in hopes of possibly feeling the most fleeting sensation of something you never had?"

"I'm here for your brother's wedding. Sorry you didn't get an invitation."

"Please," he scoffed. "I'd rather be here. I'm sure my loving, loyal brother petitioned to have me present for his idyllic nuptials, but I'd surely be forced to wear chains the entire time. Makes eating at the banquet a bit of a challenge."

"You really think you'll ever leave here without chains again?"

"Oh, come now. Why would you wish such a thing on the man who sired your child? How is the little one anyway? I really hadn't expected both of you to live. I clearly must stop underestimating you."

His voice turned low and deadly at the end, but Natasha's gut was already frozen into a chunk of icy terror. "You're not her father," she breathed. She knew she should just leave before he completely wormed his way under her skin.

"I created her," he challenged. "I'm more of a father to her than your precious Captain Rogers. He's as much of a father to her as Odin is to me." He paused to spread his arms wide to take in his prison cell. "And look how well that's worked out." When she didn't respond, Loki switched his tactics. "Oh, the great Steven Rogers. You know, I never pictured you with someone so pure and wholesome. People like us usually flee from someone so good. Wouldn't want to taint them with our shadows and our inability to care and love." He shrugged. "But perhaps you enjoy someone who was created to take orders. Someone who will kneel at your feet? Or perhaps just kneel between your legs."

Natasha spun on her heel at that; she knew she needed to leave before his words took any more power over her. Her plan of putting things to unrest was quickly spinning out of control in the worst way.

"Tell Nadezhda I said hello."

Her entire body instantly morphed into steel, amped up for a fight. Slowly, she turned back to face him. "If you ever say her name again," she threatened quietly, "I will cut out your precious tongue."

A grin overtook his face. "If only I'd cursed you with that magic spell before attempting to take Midgard for myself. Think of how differently things would have happened, because you know I have power over you now by making you a mother. Why else would you still be here?"

She knew if she left now that she would just be playing into his words, but if she stayed any longer, things could become so much worse.

"And just think," he continued as she walked away, "if I had waited, I could've had an heir to my throne."

He said three more words, in Russian of all languages, and despite it being Natasha's native tongue, it took a second for them to settle in her mind.

My little princess.

Natasha fled as slowly as her body allowed to keep up an unrattled appearance and wondered how long those three words would haunt her.


	5. Chapter 5

**NOTES**: My most sincere apologies for the brevity of this update. The last two weeks have been insanely busy and I thought it was better to get one scene with good quality posted than a ton of crappy words or nothing at all.

* * *

When Steve finally returned from the hunt, he found Natasha planking on the floor. She'd spent the last three hours since her encounter with Loki putting herself through cardio paces with running in place, burpees, and anything else that would focus her mind on her breathing and her body—and not on the conversation she just had.

His boots appeared in her line of vision, and she could feel his nervousness at finding her in this state. "What happened?"

"I went down to the prison," she answered.

"What did he do?" he asked in a tight voice. Natasha didn't answer quickly enough and, as a result, she watched his boots turn on their heel and stomp away.

"Steve," she called after him, but it was a waste of a breath. She could already imagine the sound of his shield singing in the air before crackling against the forcefield that held Loki in his cell. He was stalking through the common area before she could grab the back of his Asgardian-made tunic. "Steve!"

"Did he threaten you?" he asked as he spun around to face her. "Did he threaten _her_?"

Natasha rolled her lips as an answer, knowing full well if she repeated what was said, he'd undoubtedly storm the prison and do who-knows-what to Loki. And while that would be fun to watch—

Yet again, she didn't answer quickly enough, and he stormed away, swearing under his breath. She yanked on the handful of blue tunic in her hand and dropped her hips to lower her center of gravity and increase her chances of holding him back, but it was fruitless. He broke free of her hold and kept walking. She didn't realize the others were watching the spectacle until she heard the rustle of them readying equipment for whatever battle lay ahead.

"This is what he wants," she announced, and that at least got Steve to stop before he reached the door. "This is exactly what he wants us to do. I fell for the trap, don't you go and do it, too."

Steve's shoulders slumped as he half-turned toward her. "She's my kid."

Natasha couldn't mistake the hurt in his voice, and she immediately knew that her denouncement of him being Nadia's father the other night still ate at him. Simultaneously, she heard Loki whisper his opinion on her daughter's parentage in her ear. "I know she is," Natasha told him gently. "And so does she, so who cares what anyone else says or thinks." She closed the distance between them and rested a hand on his upper arm. "I know you hate to back down from a fight with a bully, but let this one go."

"If he's found a way to hurt her—"

"He has, and it looks like this," she told him. "Having us consumed with fear and doubt does nothing for Nadia." She gave a small shrug. "A little late for me to figure that out today, but at least I eventually did."

Steve twisted and slumped his back against the nearest wall, his shield dropping down to the floor and resting against his legs. "How badly do you want to talk to her right now?"

Natasha snorted. "Why do you think I sweated my perfectly good spa day into oblivion?"

"I believe I can be of assistance," Thor announced. "I can send you back if you want. You are not bound to remain on Asgard if you do not wish."

Natasha felt Steve waiting to answer for both of them. As tempting as the thought was, this separation was a lesson all three of them needed. Plus, if Loki heard that she and Steve and run back home after a single conversation with him, it would give the bastard to much damn delight. "Is there a way to just talk to her?" Natasha knew the answer to the question before it was asked. Thor had no way to communicate with them on Earth when he was here.

"No," he confirmed. "But I can have Heimdall look upon her to insure she is well." Natasha looked up at Steve and he gave a small nod. "Come with me," Thor ordered.

Steve left his shield to lean against the wall and the pair of them followed the Asgardian prince through his palace. They wove through the city streets until they were once again at the gate that opened to the crystalline bridge of swirling colors. Thor climbed atop a horse that was waiting there, and Steve did the same. There was a third mare available for Natasha to claim as her own, but she instead rode behind Steve. Once her arms were wrapped around his waist, the men set off.

Natasha buried her nose in the crook of Steve's shoulder and neck. He smelled like sweat and sunshine. Immediately, she was curious about how their hunt went. It must have been something incredibly active if he'd actually worked up a sweat.

She closed her eyes and deeply inhaled the scents that had become home. Four years ago, she was alone and callous, someone who only worried about staying alive and trying to find some way to redeem all her wrongs. Life was simpler then. Now there were days like this where the ease and emptiness of that time called to her, but as difficult as her life had become, the fullness of it was something she couldn't walk away from. The Natasha of four years ago wouldn't recognize the Natasha of now, and sometimes she worried about that. She grew scared of how becoming this soft could someday turn into a detriment.

Natasha shoved the those thoughts out of her mind and spent the remainder of the quick trip across the Rainbow Bridge focusing on the strength and familiarity of the man she was wrapped around. Not only physically, but she could admit to being wrapped up in him emotionally, too. Not that she could say that out loud, not yet, but she knew it was true. She'd meant what she said the other night—there was no way she could raise Nadia on her own. Not without her daughter turning into a cold, heartless monster like Natasha had been. Steve was a source of light in their lives, and it'd taken Natasha a while to ease out of the shadows and bask in his warmth. Deep down, and only on some days, she could admit to herself that she never wanted to leave the spot of light he'd cast on her life.

When they arrived at the bifrost portal, Hemidall nodded his greeting. Thor stepped up onto the platform with him and gave a hearty slap to his shoulder. "Dear friend, these parents would like to hear about their child. Would you mind assisting them?" he asked.

"Not at all," Heimdall rumbled. His golden gaze turned to some far off point in the sea of stars before them. Steve and Natasha's eyes followed suit, but even with enhanced vision, all they saw was a star field. "Currently, she is once more watching the adventure of the singing fish woman."

"She's okay?" Steve asked, his eyes still looking out at space, not the person who could actually see their daughter.

"Nadezhda is fine. She stayed very quiet her first two days, but she is beginning to warm up to her new friends."

Steve's arm wrapped around Natasha's shoulders and he pulled her against his side. Natasha could imagine Nadia sitting in the corner of a couch—her favorite spot—and quietly watching her favorite movie. Only when she was overloaded on sugar would she belt out the songs. Most of the time, she just appreciated the pretty colors and the drawings like her Daddy could do.

"You'll tell us if something's wrong, won't you?" Steve asked.

Heimdall nodded. "You have my word."

They all stood in silence for a few minutes before Thor offered to lead them back. "I'm required to attend a final pre-wedding banquet with my family before tomorrow's ceremony and must return. If you do not to wish to follow—or even to attend, since you are my family and therefore invited—I understand."

Natahsa shook her head. "We'll go. Thank you," she said to Heimdall.

"Your daughter has more than your looks, Lady Widow. She has your strength, as well."

_And my weaknesses,_ Natasha thought.


End file.
